Driven to distraction by pain

I am a HGV driver and my story started one day in early April 2008. I had bought an old Mercedes and was changing the brake discs and pads. Afterwards, I thought I had just pulled a muscle in my shoulder but a couple of my fingers were aching as well. For a couple of weeks I went on pretending that it was muscle strain or something similar, then I decided to go to the doctor. His first thought was rheumatoid arthritis (RA), but said that to confirm the diagnosis some blood tests would have to be done.

I realised I knew nothing about rheumatoid arthritis and my own internet search scared me to death. The initial blood tests were inconclusive so more tests followed. While I was waiting for the results my condition rapidly worsened, which was the start of a very dark time for me and my family. A further visit to the doctor resulted in stronger pain killers, Tramadol, being prescribed.

The results of the second series of blood tests were still not conclusive, but my GP decided he would refer me to a specialist (unfortunately, it was going to be 3 months before I could see one). In the meantime, I started to experience almost indescribable pain. I couldn’t sit for more than a couple of hours, couldn’t stand for long, couldn’t walk very far, getting out of the car or bath became really difficult as I couldn’t pull myself up with my arms. No football, no DIY, and even eating a burger was painful as my jaw ached. There wasn’t a joint in my body that didn’t hurt. I don’t know now how I managed to continue to work through this, as it makes me ache just writing about it.

My wife and children were fantastic helping me through this period. Eventually the hospital appointment came, and the rheumatologist confirmed that I had RA, and prescribed methotrexate, which can take some time before it starts to have an effect, but things did start to get easier. Since then the dose has been increased to 20mg.

Next I had to visit the company’s occupational health nurse who was really helpful and put my mind at ease about my future employment. She told me that I was protected by the Disability Discrimination Act (DDA), and although I don’t feel disabled, apparently according to the law I am!

By March, the methotrexate was doing its job and after a visit to the specialist I was told that I am now in remission. Damage has been done to my joints and I will continue to have pain, but I can avoid serious painkillers and only take proprietary brands occasionally. As time goes on I find I can do more things such as light DIY, cutting the grass, and walking the dog.

I have now been on methotrexate for a year. I still get episodes when the pain gets worse, which my specialist said would happen. I think the worst thing is the fatigue and even after 8 or 9 hours sleep I still feel tired, and after 9 or so hours work I am shattered. I sometimes need to lie down for half an hour or so, but I can’t do that at work and only take painkillers occasionally, but the pain gets worse as the day goes on. I’m looking for a job where I spend more time in the office with less physical work.

What about the future? Who knows? I thank my blessings I am managing to have a reasonably normal life at work and at home.

As my wife keeps telling me there is always someone worse off than you!